How do you prefer to break-up with someone?

I wonder if there is a nice way to do it when you have to do it?

I have been thinking about “mastering the art of breaking-up” since I learned that there are specific kinds of letters for break-ups belonging to the American culture, known as “Dear John Letters”.

They say that the origin of this “Dear John Letter” phrase comes from the times of World War II:

American men go to war, they can not return home for a long time.

And eventually, one by one, they begin to receive these “Dear John Letters” from their wives or girlfriends informing them their relationships are over.

Yes!

“Dear John, I am sorry but I am sick of waiting for you and it is over. I met this guy with the blue Corvette; he takes me out dancing and he is so nice to me. I hope you meet with a nice girl ‘if’ you return home…”

Breaking-up via a letter?

Does it sound cruel to you?

Well nowadays you may not even receive a letter at all – cruel or not.

You may receive an “emoji” – or, if you are lucky enough, a well chosen “sticker”!

Believe me, it is a fact! I received one! I can show you if you want!

No “Dear Jane…” stuff, no letter, no nothing – just a Snoopy sticker through “Facebook Messenger”!

After bunches of paragraphs in which I was trying to express myself, all I received back was a Snoopy sticker!

Snoopy?!

Come on! – If you can not be a man, at least be a bit more creative!

Would you like to hear about a creative break-up?

O.K.!

Do you remember the famous TV series – “Sex and the City”?

There is this main character called Carrie Bradshaw – a typical New Yorker girl, lives in Manhattan and she writes a column about the relationships as a profession?

In season six, Carrie Bradshaw’s ‘complete waste of time boyfriend’ – Berger, breaks up with her on a “post-it” – on the morning of their very last make-up night! Very creative!!

After all the ups and downs in their relationship, she finally accepts to take him back,

they spend the night together,

then she wakes up alone in the morning and finds the “post-it” on her Mac Book screen!

It says: “I’m Sorry / I can’t / Don’t hate me – ”

I remember, they made an entire episode out of this creative break-up tool: A “post-it”!

Well, compared to “Snoopy” and the “Post-it”, receiving a “Dear John/Dear Jane Letter” does not sound that cruel anymore – right?

On the other hand, some of you still may think that every relationship at least deserves a simple “phone talk” to break up?

I suggest you should not be so sure.

It really depends on the call you receive.

Now listen to this – not a TV series thing, and completely non-fiction, a true story:

The girl falls in love with a man – the love of her life, her other half, her soulmate…

They talk on the phone for hours.

They meet quite often.

They not only share a bed but also share ideas, jokes and laughter.

“They finish each others’ sentences” type of thing.

Besides, she knows his parents and gets on very well with them.

Then one day she receives a phone call from him.

He says “There is something I would like to tell you” in a serious and anxious manner.

She gets excited and thinks the time has come when she will hear “those three words” that she has been expecting for a long time.

At the same time she feels a bit disappointed – because she thinks it is better to hear it face to face; but anyway – she does not discourage him and answers “Yes, I am listening…”

Instead of those expected three words, she hears him say: “I have a girlfriend.”

Well, this is no news – she already knows that… She is the girlfriend.

Is she?

No.

And there comes a long, ice cold, awkward silence on the line…

What about that?!

Telling about a girlfriend, to a girl who thinks that she is your girlfriend!

On the phone?!

What kind of a break up is that?!

What on earth was he thinking?!

You should have seen the expression on that poor girl’s face while telling me the story.

She was the “Emoji”!

“Dear Janes and Johns”,

Breaking-up with someone is not a nice thing – and there will never be a nice way to do it.

So, just remember that the people you are breaking up with are real human beings,

You once had good times together,

And they deserve to hear at least a few nice words face to face – in person.

Although the break-up conversation makes us feel uncomfortable, we all know that it is still the only thoughtful, graceful, decent and honorable way to “master the art of breaking-up”.

12.11.2015

TM-SP2