When was the last time that someone dissapointed you or let you down?

Well, I believe that it is not the people who let us down – but our own expectations:

Because people always act as who they are – it is generally us who have unrealistic expectations from others and eventually we are the dissapointed ones.

But what should be the way to be able to identify the people correctly and set our expectations realisticly?

I have a theory for that!

I call it the”Theory of t₀“.

After hearing this theory, you might set your expectations of people realisticly in order not to be dissapointed.

This theory relies on my personal and professional experiences. Let’s say something that I made up to ease my own life!

I am working as a Human Resources Manager.

As a part of my job I have to hire people.

Therefore  I make interviews with them.

And for me, there is no difference at all between hiring a candidate and getting to know someone new.

Interviews with the candidates consist of three steps which are also valid for identifying “any person” in our lives.

Step 1 is observing people at “t₀“:

“t₀” means the time being, where we are – Let’s say time “now”.

I observe the candidates during the interview and try to identify their core qualities and main characteristic features at t₀.

As the power of observation is the key to the success of this theory, I want to give you some clues about observation.

In order to make a healthy observation I always focus on people’s point of view, their priorities, their values and their behavioral patterns.

I mean, I don’t focus on what happens to them – but I focus on how they handle it, their approach.

I always ask a simple question to the candidates during the interviews: “Why do you want to leave your current job?”

For example one of the candidates answers as “Whatever I do – it is not enough; I am not happy there anymore and I want to work in a company where I can feel myself appreciated.”

For me this candidate is emotional, seeking others’ approval and not taking responsibility.

However another candidate replies this very same question as: “My performance score is low but on the other hand my manager does not give me proper feedback to improve. I want to be a part of a company where I can be coached to do my best to be successful.”

And this one is rational and seeking for self improvement and has a better chance to take the position.

After the observation part comes the step 2, which is checking them at “t_-1“:

“t_-1” means before, where we were once – Let’s say “past” time.

I ask questions about their past experiences, about t_-1.

I check if the information they are giving about their past relates with their present situation.

If the data I obtain from t₀ and t_-1 are relevant, which is usually the case, it leads me directly to a conclusion.

Which is step 3, and also known as making an assumption for “t₁“:

“t₁” means after, where we will be –Let’s say “future” time.

I make an assumption for t₁ to be able to set my expectations of people realisticly in order not to be dissapointed.

In fact how you identify a person just for the time being is more than enough to assume that person’s potential.

In this theory, we check the consistency of the present data with the past just to double check!

But in fact the theory is mainly about now and this is why it is called the”Theory of t₀“.

I want you to remember the interview case I have just mentioned: Although both of the people  were facing a similar situation, their answers were completely different. This is because their approaches are different, their point of view are different, their values and priorities are different.

And thesee core qualities and characteristic features of people never change.

You may claim “People can change” but I would say “Only the ones with the potential to change can” – so, no exceptions to the rule!

I hope you will see how straightforward the “Theory of t₀” is and how easy to use it yourselves.

Just follow the three steps:

Identify the people using all your observation skills;

Check it against their background –ask questions, be sure;

And set your expectations accordingly.

Then – no more surprises  or disappointments.

Trust in the “Theory of t₀” – it will never let you down!

29.01.2016

TM-SP3

Tonight, we are gathered together for a new beginning:

The beginning of a new season at Nicosia Crusaders Club.

In this season, there is the possibility that I might stand behind that lectern,

Deliver the worst speech ever,

And make a complete fool out of myself…

This is a possibility!

On the other hand there is a strong hope,

That I might make a speech to remember forever,

Besides that, I may touch a few people’s lives among the audience

And inspire them for a lifetime.

The only way to see our hopes come true is to make new beginnings.

And it’s the new beginnings which make our lives interesting, exciting, wonderful and worthy!

Do you remember moving out from your parents’ house for university,

Or the day you resigned from a job which was driving you crazy?

Remember the time you replied “Yes, I do!”,

Remember the moment you learned that you were with child – with your firstborn.

Those new beginnings brought you here and made you who you are.

So… Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and dear guests,

Please charge your glasses… and stand…

And share a toast with me:

To NEW BEGINNINGS!

 

18.09.2015

TM-Prepared Toast